Losing My Religion
by Elphie Marky
Summary: Collins is a teenager trying to find himself and figure out who he is. Longer note inside. Oneshot. Also a teeny bit of CollinsAngel.


Disclaimer: I don't own them. I also do not share the views of Mrs. Robbins. I made her a bitchy homophobe on purpose, but I don't really like her. You can hate her. Hate her with me.

A/N: As to where this came from, I was studying for my religion test and I was like hey… Collins would have a tough time being Catholic. I don't recall anyone's religion being specified other than Mark's and Collins does say "Happy birthday Jesus." So, we're going to say that Collins is Catholic. Roger and Maureen too, just so Collins doesn't have to go through everything alone. And everyone writes stories about Mark being Jewish, so I didn't think anyone would be offended that the other characters have a religion too.

Also, this isn't meant to be offensive to Catholics or gays or anyone. I mean, I've had 12 years and counting of Catholic school shoved down my throat, so I _do_ know what I'm talking about. But like yeah, you know. I'm not anti-gay or anything.

* * *

"Guys, I think I'm gay," a fifteen year old Tom Collins announced to his two closest friends.

At the end of the sentence, the guitar playing stopped and Roger looked up. "Huh?"

Maureen looked away from her compact and at her friend. Her face twisted in confusion.

The three met in seventh grade, all new that year. They seemed to fit together well, shy and outcast. Roger came from a broken family, no dad, his mother in drug rehab, and living with his grandparents. Maureen's parents had just been through a terrible divorce, unheard of in the early eighties. Collins was new to the neighborhood, but he had been attending Catholic school since kindergarten, so the educational curriculum was nothing new to him. Roger and Maureen however were a little shocked at the ugly uniforms and strict discipline. Not that they followed the dress code. The first few buttons of Roger's shirt were always unbuttoned and his tie hung loose around his neck. Maureen's skirt was way too short, showing more leg than a girl her age should. It wasn't that bad for Collins, he didn't really mind following the rules or being an outcast. He had always felt spiritually connected in his own special way. Since then, they'd clung together, hanging out at Roger's grandparents house after school to do homework or just hang out.

"I've been doing some thinking and…" Collins started.

"You're always thinking," Maureen interrupted, turning back to the small mirror in her hand.

"No, really, I was thinking," Collins started again, "and I'm turning sixteen in three months and I've never had a girlfriend. Hell, I've never even _liked_ a girl."

"Does this have anything to do with what we're learning in religion class?" Roger pushed his guitar off his lap and dug through his book bag. "About the sanctity of marriage or some shit like that… I wasn't paying attention."

"Surprise," Maureen rolled her eyes and pouted her lips before snapping the compact shut and placing it in her purse. "You know, Collins, I don't blame you, boys are pretty cute."

Collins blushed and looked away. "I never said I was certain, I just said I think."

"Well when you think about stuff, you tend to go in depth, like you're always right," Roger reasoned. "I mean, you said 'I think the answer is four' about last night's math homework. I insisted that it was seven, but of course, you were right. And I got the answer wrong and probably got like a C on that… damn."

"Yeah, Roger's right for once," Maureen added. "You do tend to be right when you think about stuff."

"Well, we'll see," Collins mused.

--

The next few days were on the tough side for Collins. He had never questioned anything until now. The teachers knew more than he did, right? So wasn't what they taught real and proven? He wasn't so sure anymore.

Religion class was a blur over the week. Mrs. Robbins was teaching about the sacrament of matrimony and "saving yourself." Roger laughed every time she said sex. He had about four demerits for that already.

"Now we all remember from yesterday that sex is a sacred gift for a man and a woman after marriage," Mrs. Robbins rambled.

Roger let out a loud snort from the back of the room.

"Do you find this topic funny, Mr. Davis?" the teacher demanded.

"Nope."

"Then why do you keep laughing?"

"Because it's funny to hear teachers – especially you – say sex," Roger replied, his grin widening. He was always amused when the teachers got angry.

"I'd like to have a word with you after class," she concluded.

"So I can hear you say sex some more?"

"Ro_ger_," one of Maureen's elbows dug deep into his ribs.

"Ow… fine," he rolled his eyes, "sorry Mrs. Robbins."

"Unroll your skirt, Miss Johnson," the teacher said, "no one wants to see that."

"I do," Roger muttered under his breath, receiving another elbow to the ribs before Maureen shimmied in her seat a bit to make it look like her skirt was longer than it was.

"Mrs. Robbins?" Collins raised his hand.

"Yes, Thomas?"

"Why a man and a woman?" he inquired. "What about two men or two women? Why can't they…"  
She cut him off. "Marriage is for a man and a woman. Homosexuality is wrong according to our religion."

"So does God hate gays?" Collins' face twisted in confusion. Everything his parents had told him over the years was slipping away and seemingly wrong according to this class.

"Um, well, uh," Mrs. Robbins was obviously unsure of how to answer this question. "Um, he doesn't approve."

"Well how do you know?" he kept going. "I thought God loved everyone."

"Well, he does, unless you don't admit that you are sinning. Being a homosexual is a sin," she fumbled her words. "You aren't a good Christian if you're gay."

"Then I don't want to be a good Christian," Collins finalized. He tossed his notebook into his book bag and left the room, fighting back tears.

Mrs. Robbins stood in the front of the class, befuddled. Had a student just left the classroom?

Roger and Maureen looked at each other. Had Collins just come out to the entire class? He had done one hell of a job standing up for himself and virtually telling his teacher to fuck off and accept him for who he was.

"See, Thomas is a sinner who needs help…" Mrs. Robbins started.

"We don't want to be good Christians either," Roger stood up, grabbing Maureen's wrist and yanking her up too. "If you're going to judge our friend because he was created differently, then we don't want to accept it."

"Yeah, created differently… by _God_," Maureen threw all her years of Catholic school into her teacher's face.

"Let's go," Roger took her hand and his school bag before dragging his friend out of the room to find Collins.

"Collins?" he called walking down the hall.

"Mmph," a cry came from the stairwell.

"Collins, you okay?" Roger ran over to his friend. "Don't listen to her bullshit. That's all it is, bullshit. We still love you." Roger and Maureen both wrapped their arms around their friend and tried to calm him.

"Yeah, we'll always support you, hon," Maureen gently wiped the tears from Collins' cheek.

--

The memory of that night flickered through Collins' head as he sat yet again fighting back tears in some alley, blood everywhere. He had just been mugged and robbed, and he felt like shit.

"I'm Angel," a soft voice introduced, gently wiping the blood from his nose.

"Angel indeed," he murmured, thankful for the help of the young man. He allowed the man to help him up and gratefully accepted the invitation back to Angel's house to clean up.

As the two walked out of the alley, Collins leaning on Angel's shoulder, Collins cast a look up to the night sky with a smile. _I knew you'd take care of me no matter what._

**Fin**


End file.
